White snow
Black desk
Silver keyboard
Thoughts
Here I am today
tic toc tac tic toc tac
making my inner soul heard
flowing through my fingers
a liquid crystal display screen
encrypted
being a part of, or determining a civilization
doesn't it sound so classic?
AW, February 10, 2010
Showing posts with label English. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English. Show all posts
Thursday, February 11, 2010
(Re-) connection
Sunset's over
I'm walking under the broken streetlights
my lens would call this dimness as noise
dots, imperfections, lack of life
those are what is captured in the printed photographs
None sees the view as well as I could
None live my worlds
The moon's still hiding
I'm trying to figure out the constellation of the stars
There are always three dots in a row that I always see
but I have no name for them
None sees the stars the way I see them
None live my skies
I walk, I walk, I walk
I always greet the barren branches of winter as I pass by
I let them know that they might be cold and lonely but they're not alone
None ever completely understand this hollow universe in my soul
None live my mind
Reconnection
Me, my senses, my heart, my soul
Let the whole universe be somehow nameless
As long as I understand the meanings of its existence
AW - Albany, January 26, 2010, 1.26 a.m.
I'm walking under the broken streetlights
my lens would call this dimness as noise
dots, imperfections, lack of life
those are what is captured in the printed photographs
None sees the view as well as I could
None live my worlds
The moon's still hiding
I'm trying to figure out the constellation of the stars
There are always three dots in a row that I always see
but I have no name for them
None sees the stars the way I see them
None live my skies
I walk, I walk, I walk
I always greet the barren branches of winter as I pass by
I let them know that they might be cold and lonely but they're not alone
None ever completely understand this hollow universe in my soul
None live my mind
Reconnection
Me, my senses, my heart, my soul
Let the whole universe be somehow nameless
As long as I understand the meanings of its existence
AW - Albany, January 26, 2010, 1.26 a.m.
My Feather Dream
Somehow I want to fly like a feather
Unnoticed, carefree
And when the innocent hands found me,
they would still say,
"it's the feather of a swan - of a dove - or an eagle!"
Accepted as all I am and who I was, effortless at my side
A feather makes the meaning of a bird
The feathers bring the wings to fly while they protect
A feather falls with grace, without rush
A feather let loose without pain
When the rain falls and it's soaking wet,
the sunshine would quickly dry it up,
Really soon, awake and alive again it becomes
Recovered as it was before
A feather will never lose its features
A feather will retire and the new one will grow,
But without rush. Without feeling or causing any pain.
Gracefully. Silently
Somehow I want to bid a farewell like a feather
When I'm exhausted of the journeys and when the time has come
I simply drop off and the wind would carry me
gracefully descending, then resting
Somehow I wanna float in the air like a feather
It would swing smoothly no matter if the wind is harsh or tender
I let the gravity pulls me down
yet I will whisper, "no rush Mother Earth, I'll be where I will be"
And after all the journeys in the air
The feather will rest at the embrace of the mother earth
Disconnected from its previous world
Fulfilled was the meaningful duty.
No hurt. No pain of losing, both sides, just at the right time
The bird will still fly,
the feather would watch from below
Resting peacefully, solemnly...
-AW, August 08, 2009-
Unnoticed, carefree
And when the innocent hands found me,
they would still say,
"it's the feather of a swan - of a dove - or an eagle!"
Accepted as all I am and who I was, effortless at my side
A feather makes the meaning of a bird
The feathers bring the wings to fly while they protect
A feather falls with grace, without rush
A feather let loose without pain
When the rain falls and it's soaking wet,
the sunshine would quickly dry it up,
Really soon, awake and alive again it becomes
Recovered as it was before
A feather will never lose its features
A feather will retire and the new one will grow,
But without rush. Without feeling or causing any pain.
Gracefully. Silently
Somehow I want to bid a farewell like a feather
When I'm exhausted of the journeys and when the time has come
I simply drop off and the wind would carry me
gracefully descending, then resting
Somehow I wanna float in the air like a feather
It would swing smoothly no matter if the wind is harsh or tender
I let the gravity pulls me down
yet I will whisper, "no rush Mother Earth, I'll be where I will be"
And after all the journeys in the air
The feather will rest at the embrace of the mother earth
Disconnected from its previous world
Fulfilled was the meaningful duty.
No hurt. No pain of losing, both sides, just at the right time
The bird will still fly,
the feather would watch from below
Resting peacefully, solemnly...
-AW, August 08, 2009-
Then Let It Be
My little angel embraces my soul
Whenever I ask her about love,
She always says it's all around me
My little angel caresses my face
When the rays of morning sun comes
She lets me know that here and there,
I am in the embrace of the Almighty
The love of the Absolute Love
The light of the Absolute Light
Then I shouldn't be in fear nor feeling lonely
My angel took my hands and leads me to fly
then I see:
all the ground that I walk on is my hometown
all the places where life brings me to settle in is my home
I was born as a wanderer,
then my happiness is hidden at the secrecy of the places that I would see
If it means that I have to travel the world for eternity
Then let it be...
-AW, April 28, 2009-
Whenever I ask her about love,
She always says it's all around me
My little angel caresses my face
When the rays of morning sun comes
She lets me know that here and there,
I am in the embrace of the Almighty
The love of the Absolute Love
The light of the Absolute Light
Then I shouldn't be in fear nor feeling lonely
My angel took my hands and leads me to fly
then I see:
all the ground that I walk on is my hometown
all the places where life brings me to settle in is my home
I was born as a wanderer,
then my happiness is hidden at the secrecy of the places that I would see
If it means that I have to travel the world for eternity
Then let it be...
-AW, April 28, 2009-
X
Captivated
Decades of my life have been framed
To be accepted, I have to be X
To be loved, I have to be Y
Has it been my only way of survival?
Have I sold my soul?
Have I surrendered my future in some ridiculous auctions?
Have my hands been cuffed by fears,
Have I been so powerless?
No.
I refuse.
My life shouldn't belong to any box where I don't want to belong
My rights to be loved shouldn't belong to other's desire
My journey shouldn't follow other's travel plan if I don't want to
My freedom shouldn't belong to any hands;
But mine,
only mine.
- me in my rebel mood -
AW-Albany, NY, June 20, 2009
Decades of my life have been framed
To be accepted, I have to be X
To be loved, I have to be Y
Has it been my only way of survival?
Have I sold my soul?
Have I surrendered my future in some ridiculous auctions?
Have my hands been cuffed by fears,
Have I been so powerless?
No.
I refuse.
My life shouldn't belong to any box where I don't want to belong
My rights to be loved shouldn't belong to other's desire
My journey shouldn't follow other's travel plan if I don't want to
My freedom shouldn't belong to any hands;
But mine,
only mine.
- me in my rebel mood -
AW-Albany, NY, June 20, 2009
Dear Predators
Dear Predators,
If you think that it is a pleasure to grab me with your dirty claws,
With your nasty words and with your disgusting sights
I seriously think
that you are such pathetic testosterone-driven creatures
For man with dignity
would not need to work that hard to get some good catch
After all, charms are not at all about how macho you are
How big your muscles and your mouth are,
And how successful you might think
when you could make a seemed-to-be prey like me feeling sick
So may I ask you a question:
are you desperate, sick, or are you dumb?
Dear Predators,
I am not a piece of meat,
I am not your prey
Deep inside this skin, there is a human with dignity
There is a human being that lives not only for herself, her pleasures, her self-existence
There is a human whose life is as precious as yours
Whose womb and whose form are just like your mother's, your sister's, and maybe your wives
So if you love them,
You should think of them when your savage soul roars
But if you don't
break them free from the pain of shameful bounds
of being related to you
Dear Predators,
If you think I am weak, you are wrong
I would always speak up, and fight back
I would scare you out and I would make you feel stupid
I would walk my talk and I would make you feel sorry
I would break you and I would crash you down
Coz NO ONE, no one has the right to threat me, harass me or scare me
So you'll know the rule of the contemporary game
And you know what, I guarantee:
The big "L" is not marked on me!
*My message to the Predators, after 2 harassment incidents on Central Ave and Washington Ave, Albany - July 14, 2009
Ladies, fight back!
If you think that it is a pleasure to grab me with your dirty claws,
With your nasty words and with your disgusting sights
I seriously think
that you are such pathetic testosterone-driven creatures
For man with dignity
would not need to work that hard to get some good catch
After all, charms are not at all about how macho you are
How big your muscles and your mouth are,
And how successful you might think
when you could make a seemed-to-be prey like me feeling sick
So may I ask you a question:
are you desperate, sick, or are you dumb?
Dear Predators,
I am not a piece of meat,
I am not your prey
Deep inside this skin, there is a human with dignity
There is a human being that lives not only for herself, her pleasures, her self-existence
There is a human whose life is as precious as yours
Whose womb and whose form are just like your mother's, your sister's, and maybe your wives
So if you love them,
You should think of them when your savage soul roars
But if you don't
break them free from the pain of shameful bounds
of being related to you
Dear Predators,
If you think I am weak, you are wrong
I would always speak up, and fight back
I would scare you out and I would make you feel stupid
I would walk my talk and I would make you feel sorry
I would break you and I would crash you down
Coz NO ONE, no one has the right to threat me, harass me or scare me
So you'll know the rule of the contemporary game
And you know what, I guarantee:
The big "L" is not marked on me!
*My message to the Predators, after 2 harassment incidents on Central Ave and Washington Ave, Albany - July 14, 2009
Ladies, fight back!
At the Face of My Faith
I'm not in any ways conforming you,
confronting you,
nor confirming to you
So I'll let you speak,
but I'm not listening to you
I'm in the space of my own
A humble hut that I call my palace of freedom
Where I feel the peace of being myself
and be with myself
I need not to hang on to regrets
for what has been done means the vanishing stories
I need not to hold on to bitterness
because today's flowers are too gorgeous to miss
Then I would turn my tears into sparkling dew
My sorrow turn into the contentment
My happiness is here
My life is now
My hope is here
Standing still and stronger
Times and tears have washed away my pain
and after all, I know I've done my best
and that way, I've never been the loser
At the face of my faith...
AW, Albany, April 28, 2009
confronting you,
nor confirming to you
So I'll let you speak,
but I'm not listening to you
I'm in the space of my own
A humble hut that I call my palace of freedom
Where I feel the peace of being myself
and be with myself
I need not to hang on to regrets
for what has been done means the vanishing stories
I need not to hold on to bitterness
because today's flowers are too gorgeous to miss
Then I would turn my tears into sparkling dew
My sorrow turn into the contentment
My happiness is here
My life is now
My hope is here
Standing still and stronger
Times and tears have washed away my pain
and after all, I know I've done my best
and that way, I've never been the loser
At the face of my faith...
AW, Albany, April 28, 2009
My Solitary Love
Hey,
don't hurt me
don't touch me at the place where I used to feel hurt
you wake those pain up
and I don't want to be, for the last time wounded
I am me, and I am special
it takes time to build the special me
and it's still fragile
But I guess you just don't see it, no?
for my agent of pain is invisible
and you would insist
that it's not your fault to get me into the hurt
I am me, and I am special
a wise man I know told me,
I shan't count on others to make me feel special
yet I'm yielding to a little respect
A little apology, a little understanding
a little recognition that I am outstanding
won't make you a dishonored warrior
But I guess that wise man was right
I should count on to none
that little understanding should come from my dear heart
and so should that recognition
If none embrace me with his love
then it's me who has to embrace it
if none understand me for being myself
then it's me who has to understand first
Then,
I should protect me
I should love myself
then none's going to hurt me, not you, nor the past
for I am, the honored warrior of my heart...
Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 1:19am
don't hurt me
don't touch me at the place where I used to feel hurt
you wake those pain up
and I don't want to be, for the last time wounded
I am me, and I am special
it takes time to build the special me
and it's still fragile
But I guess you just don't see it, no?
for my agent of pain is invisible
and you would insist
that it's not your fault to get me into the hurt
I am me, and I am special
a wise man I know told me,
I shan't count on others to make me feel special
yet I'm yielding to a little respect
A little apology, a little understanding
a little recognition that I am outstanding
won't make you a dishonored warrior
But I guess that wise man was right
I should count on to none
that little understanding should come from my dear heart
and so should that recognition
If none embrace me with his love
then it's me who has to embrace it
if none understand me for being myself
then it's me who has to understand first
Then,
I should protect me
I should love myself
then none's going to hurt me, not you, nor the past
for I am, the honored warrior of my heart...
Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 1:19am
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Being Loved by You
Ya Habibi,
It's been so long that I haven't feel you so close
Face to face in lonely night like this
I feel that I can talk to you,
With you
Ya Habibi,
I miss the nights like this
Having our private rendezvous,
When you are actually so busy with millions of request from the others' prayers,
I feel so special because you spare your ultimate time with me,
Special because I can hear you say that I am the love of my life,
That I am loved,
That You love me.
When it's cold, I have you embracing so close
When I feel weak, you hold my soul so gently
Ya Habibi,
allow me to say what is in my head today:
I miss sleeping under your black sky with those sparkling stars
I miss to see that big arch of rainbow in the sky
I miss to hear the ocean kisses the shore with its passionate rush
I miss to wake up at the sunrise then dance in the tide
Cherishing the lights that you lend to my life
Washing away my fears and worries
Feeling your liberation
Realizing that you make me feel tall
Talking with you while everyone else is deep in their sleep
Crying in your embrace,
Telling you that I feel weak
Letting you know that I am scared
Screaming to you that I don't feel like moving on
Murmuring my pain
Asking you whether I would be alright
Asking you to take care of the people that I love
Describing my dreams
Listing down my life options,
And wondering:
Will tomorrow be a better day?
Will I be loved?
Will I be accepted?
Will I be able to dance and sing again in morning tides?
Will I see the beauty that I saw before?
Will my life be okay?
Will I be in places that would make me feel happy?
Will I see my friends again?
Will there be a brave warrior saving me from my agony?
Will I be a mother?
Will I be healthy?
Will you allow me to travel the world?
Will I be good?
Will You always love me, Habibi?
And among all those questions, I know only one answer:
YES, You will always love me
Because You are Ar Rahmaan, because You are Ar Rahiim
The Love, the Compassionate One
Because You are my designer, my creator,
thus You understand me perfectly
Then I know that now I can sleep peacefully
Because after all,
There's nothing to worry about,
And nothing else matters,
But being loved by only You, my Almighty!
AW, August 26, 2009
4th day of Ramadan...
It's been so long that I haven't feel you so close
Face to face in lonely night like this
I feel that I can talk to you,
With you
Ya Habibi,
I miss the nights like this
Having our private rendezvous,
When you are actually so busy with millions of request from the others' prayers,
I feel so special because you spare your ultimate time with me,
Special because I can hear you say that I am the love of my life,
That I am loved,
That You love me.
When it's cold, I have you embracing so close
When I feel weak, you hold my soul so gently
Ya Habibi,
allow me to say what is in my head today:
I miss sleeping under your black sky with those sparkling stars
I miss to see that big arch of rainbow in the sky
I miss to hear the ocean kisses the shore with its passionate rush
I miss to wake up at the sunrise then dance in the tide
Cherishing the lights that you lend to my life
Washing away my fears and worries
Feeling your liberation
Realizing that you make me feel tall
Talking with you while everyone else is deep in their sleep
Crying in your embrace,
Telling you that I feel weak
Letting you know that I am scared
Screaming to you that I don't feel like moving on
Murmuring my pain
Asking you whether I would be alright
Asking you to take care of the people that I love
Describing my dreams
Listing down my life options,
And wondering:
Will tomorrow be a better day?
Will I be loved?
Will I be accepted?
Will I be able to dance and sing again in morning tides?
Will I see the beauty that I saw before?
Will my life be okay?
Will I be in places that would make me feel happy?
Will I see my friends again?
Will there be a brave warrior saving me from my agony?
Will I be a mother?
Will I be healthy?
Will you allow me to travel the world?
Will I be good?
Will You always love me, Habibi?
And among all those questions, I know only one answer:
YES, You will always love me
Because You are Ar Rahmaan, because You are Ar Rahiim
The Love, the Compassionate One
Because You are my designer, my creator,
thus You understand me perfectly
Then I know that now I can sleep peacefully
Because after all,
There's nothing to worry about,
And nothing else matters,
But being loved by only You, my Almighty!
AW, August 26, 2009
4th day of Ramadan...
Reminiscence
Do you want to remember,
or do you prefer to forget?
Exist, or vanish?
Preserve, demolish?
If remembering tears you apart
If the supposed-to-be existence is a shadow that you can't touch
If the memories are such the warm breeze that you can't embrace
If looking back breaks your heart,
Do you want to forget?
In the pieces of you, his substances exist
The shadow falls from the reflection of your inner light
In the warm breeze you inhale his scent
Looking back, you see yourself smiled
Would you still try to forget?
If remembering can bring me back then to the innocence
When love is nothing but the warmth that washes my soul
The cloud beds that craddle my sweetest dreams
The possibilities, the joy, the hopes, the sparks
I wouldn't want to forget
If remembering can bring me back the hopes
That I could see again my future with a person
building a life that is not just about me
sharing the love that is not only about posession and jealousy
holding a hand that I would hold until it's old and wrinkled
caring and loving unconditionally
then I don't want to forget
Funny to realize that hopes lied in the past,
What I used to believe is what I want to believe,
In this empty present I seek for fulfillness from the no-longer-exist-fulfilled past
Then would I,
In my reminescence,
Move forward?
*for those who's still anchoring their future at the past...
AW - Albany, August 27, 2009
*Rem•i•nis•cence
Pronunciation: \re-ˈni-sən(t)s\
(From Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Function: noun
Date: 1589
1 : apprehension of a Platonic idea as if it had been known in a previous existence
2 a : recall to mind of a long-forgotten experience or fact b : the process or practice of thinking or telling about past experiences
3 a : a remembered experience b : an account of a memorable experience —often used in plural
4 : something so like another as to be regarded as an unconscious repetition, imitation, or survival
or do you prefer to forget?
Exist, or vanish?
Preserve, demolish?
If remembering tears you apart
If the supposed-to-be existence is a shadow that you can't touch
If the memories are such the warm breeze that you can't embrace
If looking back breaks your heart,
Do you want to forget?
In the pieces of you, his substances exist
The shadow falls from the reflection of your inner light
In the warm breeze you inhale his scent
Looking back, you see yourself smiled
Would you still try to forget?
If remembering can bring me back then to the innocence
When love is nothing but the warmth that washes my soul
The cloud beds that craddle my sweetest dreams
The possibilities, the joy, the hopes, the sparks
I wouldn't want to forget
If remembering can bring me back the hopes
That I could see again my future with a person
building a life that is not just about me
sharing the love that is not only about posession and jealousy
holding a hand that I would hold until it's old and wrinkled
caring and loving unconditionally
then I don't want to forget
Funny to realize that hopes lied in the past,
What I used to believe is what I want to believe,
In this empty present I seek for fulfillness from the no-longer-exist-fulfilled past
Then would I,
In my reminescence,
Move forward?
*for those who's still anchoring their future at the past...
AW - Albany, August 27, 2009
*Rem•i•nis•cence
Pronunciation: \re-ˈni-sən(t)s\
(From Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Function: noun
Date: 1589
1 : apprehension of a Platonic idea as if it had been known in a previous existence
2 a : recall to mind of a long-forgotten experience or fact b : the process or practice of thinking or telling about past experiences
3 a : a remembered experience b : an account of a memorable experience —often used in plural
4 : something so like another as to be regarded as an unconscious repetition, imitation, or survival
Steady
Cold as ice,
Lonely as the slopes after the blizzard
Some says that the snow is more lonely than cold
But for me it is both
Crystalized,
I don't want to flow no more
Stubbornly sticking to barren lands
Sitting still
I am tired to be transported by the heat
moving up to the sky, light as vapors
happily reunited
then crushed by the wind
And fall
And flow
And separate
And being the stranger again
I might look strong enough
Flowing to the ocean,
miles away from distant mountain springs
Yet I am exhausted
It's been taking so long
It's been too far
Only for a reunion, warm air - colorful corals
Then again the life circled, self-powerlesly?
I am too tired to move
To form and deform
To flow, to rise, to fall
So in the cold I will stay
I wish it would be winter everyday
Let me be solid, steady, shiny, dangerous, slippery
Then people would take me seriously
And let me be safe from getting hurt,
From the acquaitances and valedictions
Cold as ice
hard as rock
sitting, watching beautiful aurora at the Artic sea
steady,
somehow lonely.
AW, Albany, August 28, 2009
Lonely as the slopes after the blizzard
Some says that the snow is more lonely than cold
But for me it is both
Crystalized,
I don't want to flow no more
Stubbornly sticking to barren lands
Sitting still
I am tired to be transported by the heat
moving up to the sky, light as vapors
happily reunited
then crushed by the wind
And fall
And flow
And separate
And being the stranger again
I might look strong enough
Flowing to the ocean,
miles away from distant mountain springs
Yet I am exhausted
It's been taking so long
It's been too far
Only for a reunion, warm air - colorful corals
Then again the life circled, self-powerlesly?
I am too tired to move
To form and deform
To flow, to rise, to fall
So in the cold I will stay
I wish it would be winter everyday
Let me be solid, steady, shiny, dangerous, slippery
Then people would take me seriously
And let me be safe from getting hurt,
From the acquaitances and valedictions
Cold as ice
hard as rock
sitting, watching beautiful aurora at the Artic sea
steady,
somehow lonely.
AW, Albany, August 28, 2009
Resurrection
Sure I used to fall
Sure I used to lose my mind
Sure I was lost
Sure I was sad
Sure I was disappointed
Sure I was broken
Sure I was shattered
Sure I was dying
Sure I was ever buried
In the very same soil that nurtures the grass, daffodils and willows
the low, temporary, crooked
yet they live and breathe
Sure I am incomplete
Sure I am weak
Sure I am insecure
Sure I can't have it all
I only have two hands
I can't hold the whole world
but I have had more than enough to be grateful for
Then the incompleteness finds its antithesis
The notion of weakness is expelled:
with these two tiny hands I've grabbed so much
more than what I actually need to feel fulfilled
Besides,
I am the sole owner of my own-self,
a self that is larger than life
a self that is so close that I sometimes forget
a self that is high, permanent, steady
a self that can bend down low, a self that can flow, a self that can stand straight
a self that I love, a self that I live
So, rise up
Be happy.
AW, January 26, 2010
Sure I used to lose my mind
Sure I was lost
Sure I was sad
Sure I was disappointed
Sure I was broken
Sure I was shattered
Sure I was dying
Sure I was ever buried
In the very same soil that nurtures the grass, daffodils and willows
the low, temporary, crooked
yet they live and breathe
Sure I am incomplete
Sure I am weak
Sure I am insecure
Sure I can't have it all
I only have two hands
I can't hold the whole world
but I have had more than enough to be grateful for
Then the incompleteness finds its antithesis
The notion of weakness is expelled:
with these two tiny hands I've grabbed so much
more than what I actually need to feel fulfilled
Besides,
I am the sole owner of my own-self,
a self that is larger than life
a self that is so close that I sometimes forget
a self that is high, permanent, steady
a self that can bend down low, a self that can flow, a self that can stand straight
a self that I love, a self that I live
So, rise up
Be happy.
AW, January 26, 2010
So Let Me Wish
My beautiful man will love me for who I am
He loves my stubbornness
He loves all my curves
He never compares
He never complaints if I'm to fat or too skinny
For him, I am the best woman he has ever had
My beautiful man will say that I am beautiful
First time in the morning after he wakes up
And the last time in the night before he sleeps
For it's his heart who speaks
not the ears that is dumbed by a blaring insecurity nor selfishness
not the feet that have been overshadowed by past regrets
not the eyes that have been blinded by heavy make up or fake boobs
My beautiful man will hold my hands
When I just walk in the park, along the beach
or beneath the city lights
When I am smiling or when I am sad
My beautiful man would cherish every moments that he spends
When he's with me
When he misses me
My beautiful man will take care of my disease
He caresses me everyday
Saying comforting words until I recover
While love sparkles in his eyes
I will be safe and secure in his company
My beautiful man will understand me
without me having to shed any tears begging him to understand
he never silence me
he understands
he appreciates me
he listens to me
he comforts me
he respects me
he is steady
he is sure
he is certain
he is mature
he is brave
he knows what he wants
he knows what he needs
he knows what it takes when he choose to be with me
then he walks with me, hand in hand in liberty
he would be my lover, my best friend, my mentor,
my hero, my savior
My beautiful man knows how to be a man enough for me
Naturally, he was born with that quality
And one day God sends him to me
We are meant to be
AW, January 24, 1:41 a.m.
He loves my stubbornness
He loves all my curves
He never compares
He never complaints if I'm to fat or too skinny
For him, I am the best woman he has ever had
My beautiful man will say that I am beautiful
First time in the morning after he wakes up
And the last time in the night before he sleeps
For it's his heart who speaks
not the ears that is dumbed by a blaring insecurity nor selfishness
not the feet that have been overshadowed by past regrets
not the eyes that have been blinded by heavy make up or fake boobs
My beautiful man will hold my hands
When I just walk in the park, along the beach
or beneath the city lights
When I am smiling or when I am sad
My beautiful man would cherish every moments that he spends
When he's with me
When he misses me
My beautiful man will take care of my disease
He caresses me everyday
Saying comforting words until I recover
While love sparkles in his eyes
I will be safe and secure in his company
My beautiful man will understand me
without me having to shed any tears begging him to understand
he never silence me
he understands
he appreciates me
he listens to me
he comforts me
he respects me
he is steady
he is sure
he is certain
he is mature
he is brave
he knows what he wants
he knows what he needs
he knows what it takes when he choose to be with me
then he walks with me, hand in hand in liberty
he would be my lover, my best friend, my mentor,
my hero, my savior
My beautiful man knows how to be a man enough for me
Naturally, he was born with that quality
And one day God sends him to me
We are meant to be
AW, January 24, 1:41 a.m.
Randomize
Random feeling
as Jakarta is washed by rain
and step by step I know that I will meet you again
I remember when we cuddled under the pouring rain
I remember when autumn breeze caress our veins
I remember when we watched the waves, the sun, the ocean
Random feeling
and you look always the same
my heart beats as it was again
Yet a different story is told
you are far, far out of reach
As what I have supposed to realize
After one, two, three years
I will never be good enough
Even I might have been a Goddess somewhere in some other space
Still, seeing you again waives me a bitter sense of loneliness
You are part of the past
when my inner willingness would love to drag you
"be part of my future smiles, my hope"
My whisper's gone
I miss being under the rain with you
I miss the silent moments before the sunrises or sunsets with you
will you be again there someday?
Randomizing my expectations
Maybe that's all I need
You are a random figure in my mind
Now
(but still, I miss you)
AW, one day in April 2007, when rain poured over Jakarta and life looked too random to comprehend
as Jakarta is washed by rain
and step by step I know that I will meet you again
I remember when we cuddled under the pouring rain
I remember when autumn breeze caress our veins
I remember when we watched the waves, the sun, the ocean
Random feeling
and you look always the same
my heart beats as it was again
Yet a different story is told
you are far, far out of reach
As what I have supposed to realize
After one, two, three years
I will never be good enough
Even I might have been a Goddess somewhere in some other space
Still, seeing you again waives me a bitter sense of loneliness
You are part of the past
when my inner willingness would love to drag you
"be part of my future smiles, my hope"
My whisper's gone
I miss being under the rain with you
I miss the silent moments before the sunrises or sunsets with you
will you be again there someday?
Randomizing my expectations
Maybe that's all I need
You are a random figure in my mind
Now
(but still, I miss you)
AW, one day in April 2007, when rain poured over Jakarta and life looked too random to comprehend
He Is...
He is
too charming to ignore
too unforgettable to forget
too lovely to hate
too wise to argue
too delicate to leave behind
too sad to remember
too hopeless to hope for
too far to reach
too perfect for the imperfect me
He is precious.
Maybe that's the only conclusion
He is out of reach
Maybe that's the only regret I own
AW, April 24, 2007
too charming to ignore
too unforgettable to forget
too lovely to hate
too wise to argue
too delicate to leave behind
too sad to remember
too hopeless to hope for
too far to reach
too perfect for the imperfect me
He is precious.
Maybe that's the only conclusion
He is out of reach
Maybe that's the only regret I own
AW, April 24, 2007
My Solitary Love
Hey,
don't hurt me
don't touch me at the place where I used to feel hurt
you wake those pain up
and I don't want to be, for the last time wounded
I am me, and I am special
it takes time to build the special me
and it's still fragile
But I guess you just don't see it, no?
for my agent of pain is invisible
and you would insist
that it's not your fault to get me into the hurt
I am me, and I am special
a wise man I know told me,
I shan't count on others to make me feel special
yet I'm yielding to a little respect
A little apology, a little understanding
a little recognition that I am outstanding
won't make you a dishonored warrior
But I guess that wise man was right
I should count on to none
that little understanding should come from my dear heart
and so should that recognition
If none embrace me with his love
then it's me who has to embrace it
if none understand me for being myself
then it's me who has to understand first
Then,
I should protect me
I should love myself
then none's going to hurt me, not you, nor the past
for I am, the honored warrior of my heart...
AW - Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 1:19am
don't hurt me
don't touch me at the place where I used to feel hurt
you wake those pain up
and I don't want to be, for the last time wounded
I am me, and I am special
it takes time to build the special me
and it's still fragile
But I guess you just don't see it, no?
for my agent of pain is invisible
and you would insist
that it's not your fault to get me into the hurt
I am me, and I am special
a wise man I know told me,
I shan't count on others to make me feel special
yet I'm yielding to a little respect
A little apology, a little understanding
a little recognition that I am outstanding
won't make you a dishonored warrior
But I guess that wise man was right
I should count on to none
that little understanding should come from my dear heart
and so should that recognition
If none embrace me with his love
then it's me who has to embrace it
if none understand me for being myself
then it's me who has to understand first
Then,
I should protect me
I should love myself
then none's going to hurt me, not you, nor the past
for I am, the honored warrior of my heart...
AW - Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 1:19am
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